A marriage marks a new beginning for a family and links a couple for life and beyond, even if they don’t stay married to each other. I believe they’re tied to one another forever. Everyone has 2 sets of Grandparents and it’s through and by their union, which we’re here today.
Q: Do you have marriage records for your grandparents or great-grandparents?
I have the marriage license of my Grandpa Odis LeRoy and Elvia Mae Fugate Stump; they were married 22nd day of June, 1935 in Harrisonville, Cass County, Missouri at age of 18 by the Justice of the Peace. I wish I had a picture of their wedding. If one exists, I’ve never seen it.
Even though my Grandpa Stump was married 4 times, his marriage to my Grandmother was the most significant because with her he conceived 3 children; my mother being one of them.
My Grandma Elvie was born in Dan, Menifee, Kentucky d/o James “Nathan” and Mary “Edna” Craft Fugate. I had to laugh when I’d seen that she had altered her birth certificate; to fix her birthplace. I’m not sure where they said she was born, but I guess she knew better. I was glad to see that it matched her marriage license anyway.
My Papaw Kell married my Grandma Phebie in Greenup, Kentucky on the 25th day of July, 1925. It’s really hard to get any wedding stories from my relatives since their marriage ended in divorce, but it doesn’t matter to me, as much to me how it ended, as how it started. I love a good real-life love story; even if they later fell out of love – they were once, young and in love. Full of wonder and excitement; as all newlyweds are. Together they had 12 children, my dad being one of them. So it all works out.
Jasper Newton Adkins, my great-Grandpa married my Great-Grandma Teresa Montgomery in Magoffin County, Kentucky on the 18th of March, 1880. It was registered in Morgan. I don’t have any details of their wedding other than it was at the home of her uncle, Ben Montgomery. I think all marriage license should have a comment area, a journal page or a diary, so that their family members could look back on that day, as they seen it.
My Grandkids and/or Great-Grandkids may not know me, but hopefully they will know me through the stories my kids tell and though my writing. Our lives are… history in the making. I want to tell my Grand’s the story of my wedding as I remember it…
It was a tiny, intimate affair, late in the evening, in the living room of Anthony’s family home. We had a wedding planned for October of that same year; after I turned 18. But that all changed… if you know the history of our relationship; we dated for two weeks, and then got engaged, married two months later and we’re now coming up on our 31st wedding anniversary in April. And the answer to your next question is, “Yes, I’d do it all over again.”
We have a time-honored tradition of cracking the same lame joke at each anniversary breakfast. Someone, whom will remain nameless, made a lame statement at our wedding… “Don’t worry… it won’t last six months!” So each Anniversary, I tell Anthony that, in the same manner, and then we smile and kiss.
Earlier, I said that our wedding plans had changed when we got our paperwork, which was true. Since my mother had past away, and my sister Shirley was my legal guardian, she had to sign to for me to get a married. The three of us, made an appointment in Hamilton, Ohio to meet with the judge and get the paperwork done. Thinking that it would take weeks, if not longer to get it approved.
The day we went down to apply, they handed us the license. THAT WAS IT… Anthony went nuts; he said, “We’re getting married tonight!” I had made so many plans and had even tried on a beautiful white wedding gown, but I still said, “Okay!” I couldn’t wait.
We then rushed to Hill’s Department Store in Middletown (now out-of-business) to buy some $2.00 wedding rings and Anthony a horrible blue leisure suit. (See our wedding photos). Yuck! Shirley and I went to K-Mart and bought a $20.00 little white dress; short, nothing fancy. And then we called the family.
Brother Mitchell (Cookie’s pastor at the time. We each paid him, but he will never know my gratitude), had agreed to marry us that night so we drove around picking up my family members and our maid-of-honor, Shirley Grimes (who turned out not to do be able to stand up with us – long story short… Anthony’s sister Sheila Michelle Metcalf, who I barely knew at the time, agreed to stand in for her), my brother Ralph was our best man. LOL I know. LOL It was fun and crazy all at the same time. The worst part of our wedding was, right in the middle of the ceremony, Anthony sat down on the couch, my brother Ralph leaned over and patted him on the back and said, “I know exactly how you feel man.” WHAT! He then said, “I felt the same way at my wedding.” Anthony stood back up and we went on with the ceremony.
We had to drop everyone back off, after the wedding. Then we drove to Kroger in Trenton, Ohio to get groceries so we would have breakfast the next day. It’s all so funny now.
So much happened that day, it would be a chapter in a book all by itself. I hope to tell each of my Grand’s, myself. I remember it all as if it were yesterday.
My sister Shirley was moving, which also played a part in our whirl-wind nuptials and we had rented a place of our own that week, because Anthony was 18 and he was ready to move out on his own or so he said (this would give us plenty of time to buy our household items). So we were dropping off my stuff at the house, from Shirley’s old house, they were moving to their new apartment, everyone was rushing around, each going in different directions trying to get everything done; only adding to the insanity.
I had to rush though my bath while people were beating on the bathroom door, for me to get out, so they could GO… before they left, on their next trip to unload. I was so rushed, I was shaving my legs and the razor took all of the skin off the top of my entire shin bone; top to bottom. In tears, I had to keep right on going. I dried the blood as best I could. My pantyhose scabbed over, in my leg. When I went to take them off that night, my skin came with. I almost cried again. It was so bad. I’m surprised it didn’t scar.
We spent weeks making plans before this, but when you’re young and in love, you’ll jump at the chance to be together. They say it’s the things that go wrong, that you remember and I guess it’s true. Whenever you hear someone talk about their wedding, even years later, it’s about the mishaps that come to mind first and still make them laugh. Those things that make for Bridezilla’s; make the best stories. I still laugh about my name being misspelled on my wedding cake. The joke being… our names were on the wedding cake… in red. LOL
I do love weddings, and I wanted to share the events of my wedding with my Grandchildren so they’ll have the story to go with the photos, told to them by me. Something I never got from my own grandparents or even my parents, as far back as I can remember. It’s the details that make the story; real. I hope you do the same for your Grandkids. Give them a chance to know you and your life story. They’ll love to hear all the details; good and bad. I know I’d love to hear the details of my grandparents wedding.
Now you write a post about where you and your parents and/or grand’s were married and when. Any family stories about the wedding day? Post a photo too if you have one. This is Women’s History Month. Give you children a piece of your history. You’ll be glad you did.
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MINISTER:
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here today, in the sight of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy – and for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly – it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained.
Through marriage, GROOM’S NAME and BRIDE’S NAME make a commitment together to face their disappointments – embrace their dreams – realize their hopes – and accept each other’s failures. GROOM’S NAME and BRIDE’S NAME will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together – through mutual understanding – openness – and sensitivity to each other.
We are here today – before God – because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes – to witness the joining in marriage of GROOM’S NAME and BRIDE’S NAME. This occasion marks the celebration of love and commitment with which this man and this woman begin their life together. And now – through me – He joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.
Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?
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Metcalf Family Mews 