Saturday Vivre

I’m writing my post today, because once again, I was challenged on my finds. We all know that I love a great debate and have been doing it for years. Here’s a direct quote from me from 2009…

I don’t need to phone a friend, poll the audience or use my 50/50 to have a great debate. I simply pose a question and wait for a response; PROS & CONS. I give my view point of view and you give yours, hence the word: DEBATE! I do give credit… where credit is due.

and another almost snippy comment by me under the same post…

I can go back and delete that line in my comment (as I did) and in my notes as I should have done prior to my posting the comment but since you have referenced it here, it won’t go away that easy. Unless I play GOD and delete it from your comment well. As the admin I have to power to do that here. Is this what you would prefer?

I do feel that if you’re the Professor: a person who professes to be an expert teaching the class, Shawnee Chief Cornstalk 101 then where is your Curriculum, reference material and/or notes? What are you bringing to the table here? You’re quick to dismiss everything, everyone else has said but offered no proof… nothing here on this matter; facts, ideas or references… only opinions, as far as I can see. With this being the case: why are you right and the rest of us wrong?

I did delete “my guess” part of that comment. And yours as well, should you decide for me to do so… that much of it will go away… but I think for YOU to be RIGHT… you need to provide some proof on your theories.

FEEL THE POWER… BRING IT… We’re all ears…

I’m not saying that you can’t get my dander up in a heated debate, because me you can. But, I did follow it with…

PS: Your critique of my deleted comment: You know I never called you an armchair genealogist in that comment. That was a cheap shot.
I deleted it because it did sound belittling, and my intent was not to discredit anyone’s findings. A lot of people have come before and hopefully even more after, and there is a lot of data scattered about, it would be in our best interest to get it together. That was the complete basis of that comment. Hopefully, you saved it so you can paste it back here. I deleted it without saving it first.

Some days, I tend to just let it roll like water off a ducks back, but today, I find myself having this same old lame argument. I did post on Facebook that Don Greene posted on my blog and if any of the cousins had any questions for him, that he would be glad to discuss it with them.

This set off a frenzy of  negative IM’s and I’m sorry for doing so, but this is the only contact that I have ever had with Don Greene;  now or in the past. I do not own any of his books, nor did I get any of my comments from it. Unless, it was thrown at me, as it has been many times in the past.  It is bandied about my blog, like a star gleaming in the night. I’m not saying that he hasn’t done his homework or that he even asked to be referenced on this post or any other, I’m just rebutting the accusation that I have somehow, at some point, reprinted all of his findings.

I have looked at his book at Amazon, since it was referenced many times, but I didn’t feel the need to buy it. I was only interested to see what others found or where he had obtained his documents.  As I’m sure many of you have as well.

I would like to personally apologize to him, for having no part in this at all up to this point, only to have himself  dragged into many discussions in the past. But that was not from me either, but from others, for which he was not a party to. And for that I am truly sorry. No one should ever be put into that situation, without their due consent.

He has since joined the comment query on this blog, so I guess, he – himself is open to the experience.  The FAMILY may or may not want to talk to him about HIS research or MINE or GAREN’s or TOM’s or MAGGIE’s or RONNIE’s, but I would stick to asking each of them, what their findings are. I know, I did, with the exception of Don Greene. Not that I didn’t think he had done his home work, but because he was only interested in the Shawnee aspects, as I was only interested in the FAMILY history.  I did ask him the two questions that I had on my mind, see under comments, about Elijah Adkins/ Atkins daughter Nancy, since we have no record of her, I was hoping to see what became of her, but he chose not to answer, so the FAMILY may never know.

My blog is for the FAMILY to share ideas, our research and history. We’re all related and its for posterity.  To help our children, and hopefully, their children’s children, know where they came from. Many others have done it, and I don’t know why we can’t. Yes, I do speculate a lot on this blog, but all researchers do. If we don’t get an idea, we won’t have something to look for. Should my findings be inaccurate, then I try and remedy it, but I do look at it from all angles and sides. Everyone has a view point, and I do say in most of my posts that it was a rumor or just an idea. I run it up the flagpole and see of it flies.

I was going to call Connie Heard, a local Chief, today from Fort Ancient, but I better put that on hold. I’d hate to drag someone else into this squabble. Although, she is supposed to be the nicest person you could ever talk to, and will help you with anything, comes with the highest recommendation, I better table that for now. It’s a shame, because I was really looking forward to talking with her. Oh well, hopefully, she and I can meet at some point, she seems like someone I’d really like. Until then…

I will continue to work daily on my FAMILY research and play Farmville; my only vice. I work hard at what I do, and if you actually knew me, you’d know how much work that I do, you wouldn’t be so quick to make crass or demeaning comments to me or anyone else working to the same end. Respect the work and the findings, that’s all I ask.  I didn’t ask for a trophy and I have said it a million times, I’m not writing a book here, not making a dime from my WORK, I only want to preserve my FAMILY history. I have given credit where credit is due. My Uncle Denny Adkins has spent a great number of years, Jack Reed and my mom’s cousin Frank Goode, among others. I have thanked them countless times for their work and dedication, for which, I am forever in their debt.

This blog is about ME, my FAMILY, my HISTORY and my LINEAGE… it’s a sounding block for my ideas. A record of my work. I share almost every part of my life with my family and ask for nothing in return, but a little respect can go a long way. I would venture to say that at this point, I have only two secrets in my life, and will take to my grave with me, everything else I have disclosed.

I will continue to look through thousands of records and brainstorm with other FAMILY members, but will not stand to be accused of something for which I have never done, and now seems very unlikely that I will ever will do.  Thanks for your concern.

Now, I will go and put in a full day of being a wife, a mother and a Grandmother. I love my life!

Thanks as always,
Sheila Jean Adkins Metcalf

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

PS: I know I quote a lot of people on my blog, funny it looks to me like I have given them their due. See the “QUOTATION MARKS!”

 

I Just Wanted To Share This

I’m not sure how I feel about this article from, as I have just recently learned, the WSJ, that I received in an email, didn’t say where it originated from….nor did I care… to be honest… only that I didn’t agree and wanted to see how “my” friends and family felt about the matter, that is why it was all in “Quotations” to begin with…

———————

How Facebook Ruins Friendships By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
Notice to my friends: I love you all dearly.
But I don’t give a hoot that you are “having a busy Monday,” your child “took 30 minutes to brush his teeth,” your dog “just ate an ant trap” or you want to “save the piglets.” And I really, really don’t care which Addams Family member you most resemble. (I could have told you the answer before you took the quiz on Facebook.)
Here’s where you and I went wrong: We took our friendship online. First we began communicating more by email than by phone. Then we switched to “instant messaging” or “texting.” We “friended” each other on Facebook, and began communicating by “tweeting” our thoughts—in 140 characters or less—via Twitter.
All this online social networking was supposed to make us closer. And in some ways it has. Thanks to the Internet, many of us have gotten back in touch with friends from high school and college, shared old and new photos, and become better acquainted with some people we might never have grown close to offline.
Last year, when a friend of mine was hit by a car and went into a coma, his friends and family were able to easily and instantly share news of his medical progress—and send well wishes and support—thanks to a Web page his mom created for him.
But there’s a danger here, too. If we’re not careful, our online interactions can hurt our real-life relationships.
Like many people, I’m experiencing Facebook Fatigue. I’m tired of loved ones—you know who you are—who claim they are too busy to pick up the phone, or even write a decent email, yet spend hours on social-media sites, uploading photos of their children or parties, forwarding inane quizzes, posting quirky, sometimes nonsensical one-liners or tweeting their latest whereabouts. (“Anyone know a good restaurant in Berlin?”)
One of the big problems is how we converse. Typing still leaves something to be desired as a communication tool; it lacks the nuances that can be expressed by body language and voice inflection. “Online, people can’t see the yawn,” says Patricia Wallace, a psychologist at Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Talented Youth and author of “The Psychology of the Internet.”
But let’s face it, the problem is much greater than which tools we use to communicate. It’s what we are actually saying that’s really mucking up our relationships. “Oh my God, a college friend just updated her Facebook status to say that her ‘teeth are itching for a flossing!'” shrieked a friend of mine recently. “That’s gross. I don’t want to hear about what’s going on inside her mouth.”
That prompted me to check my own Facebook page, only to find that three of my pals—none of whom know each other—had the exact same status update: “Zzzzzzz.” They promptly put me to “zzzzzzz.”
This brings us to our first dilemma: Amidst all this heightened chatter, we’re not saying much that’s interesting, folks. Rather, we’re breaking a cardinal rule of companionship: Thou Shalt Not Bore Thy Friends.
“It’s called narcissism,” says Matt Brown, a 36-year-old business-development manager for a chain of hair salons and spas in Seattle. He’s particularly annoyed by a friend who works at an auto dealership who tweets every time he sells a car, a married couple who bicker on Facebook’s public walls and another couple so “mooshy-gooshy” they sit in the same room of their house posting love messages to each other for all to see. “Why is your life so frickin’ important and entertaining that we need to know?” Mr. Brown says.
‘I Just Ate a Frito Pie’
Gwen Jewett, for her part, is sick of meal status updates. “A few of my friends like to post several times a day about what they are eating: ‘I just ate a Frito pie.’ ‘I am enjoying a double hot-fudge sundae at home tonight.’ ‘Just ate a whole pizza with sausage, peppers and double cheese,'” says the 49-year-old career coach in suburban Dallas. “My question is this: If we didn’t call each other on the phone every time we ate before, why do we need the alerts now?”
For others, boredom isn’t the biggest challenge of managing Internet relationships. Consider, for example, how people you know often seem different online—not just gussied up or more polished, but bolder, too, displaying sides of their personalities you have never seen before.
Alex Gilbert, 27, who works for a nonprofit in Houston that teaches creative writing to kids, is still puzzling over an old friend—”a particularly masculine-type dude”—who plays in a heavy-metal band and heads a motorcycle club yet posts videos on Facebook of “uber cute” kittens. “It’s not fodder for your real-life conversation,” Mr. Gilbert says. “We’re not going to get together and talk about how cute kittens are.”
James Hills discovered that a colleague is gay via Facebook, but he says that didn’t bother him. It was after his friend joined groups that cater to hairy men, such as “Furball NYC,” that he was left feeling awkward. “This is something I just didn’t need to know,” says Mr. Hills, who is 32 and president of a marketing firm in Elgin, Ill. “I’d feel the same way if it was a straight friend joining a leather-and-lace group.”
And then there’s jealousy. In all that information you’re posting about your life—your vacation, your kids, your promotions at work, even that margarita you just drank—someone is bound to find something to envy. When it comes to relationships, such online revelations can make breaking up even harder to do.
“Facebook prolongs the period it takes to get over someone, because you have an open window into their life, whether you want to or not,” says Yianni Garcia of New York, a consultant who helps companies use social media. “You see their updates, their pictures and their relationship status.”
Mr. Garcia, 24, felt the sting of Facebook jealousy personally last spring, after he split up with his boyfriend. For a few weeks, he continued to visit his ex’s Facebook page, scrutinizing his new friends. Then one day he discovered that his former boyfriend had blocked him from accessing his profile.
Why? “He said he’d only ‘unfriended’ me to protect himself, because if someone flirted with me he would feel jealous,” Mr. Garcia says.
Facebook can also be a mecca for passive-aggressive behavior. “Suddenly, things you wouldn’t say out loud in conversation are OK to say because you’re sitting behind a computer screen,” says Kimberly Kaye, 26, an arts writer in New York. She was surprised when friends who had politely discussed health-care reform over dinner later grew much more antagonistic when they continued the argument online.
Just ask Heather White. She says her college roommate at the University of Georgia started an argument over text about who should clean their apartment. Ms. White, 22, who was home visiting her parents at the time, asked her friend to call her so they could discuss the issue. Her friend never did.
A few days later, Ms. White, who graduated in May, updated her Facebook status, commenting that her favorite country duo, Brooks & Dunn, just broke up. Almost immediately, her roommate responded, writing publicly on her wall: “Just like us.” The two women have barely spoken since then.
Band-Aid Tactics
So what’s the solution, short of “unfriending” or “unfollowing” everyone who annoys you? You can use the “hide” button on Facebook to stop getting your friends’ status updates—they’ll never know—or use TwitterSnooze, a Web site that allows you to temporarily suspend tweets from someone you follow. (Warning: They’ll get a notice from Twitter when you begin reading their tweets again.)
But these are really just Band-Aid tactics. To improve our interactions, we need to change our conduct, not just cover it up. First, watch your own behavior, asking yourself before you post anything: “Is this something I’d want someone to tell me?” “Run it by that focus group of one,” says Johns Hopkins’s Dr. Wallace.
And positively reward others, responding only when they write something interesting, ignoring them when they are boring or obnoxious. (Commenting negatively will only start a very public war.)
If all that fails, you can always start a new group: “Get Facebook to Create an Eye-Roll Button Now!”
Write to Elizabeth Bernstein at Bonds@wsj.com

Quote of the Day:

“Truth can be outraged by silence as cruelly as by speech.” ~ Amelia B. Barr

 

Today, keep your standards beyond reproach.

• Serve the Lord by serving others.

• Avoid self-preoccupation.  There are many others who need the assistance that only you can offer.

• Develop more patience and value: the calm that can be yours.

• Look for good in people, places and happenings.

• Let your wardrobe incline a bright, pleasant expression. A ready smile makes a fashionable accessory.

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. ~ Carl Jung

 

The Death Clock

I tried out The Death Clock. I’m supposed to die on Friday, November 16, 2018 because I chose the pessimistic option.

This an online application that computes when you are likely to die with the following variables:
1) Date of Birth
2) Sex
3) Mode of life (optimism, pessimism, sadism, normal)
4) Body Mass Index (BMI)
5) Smoking Status (non-smoker/smoker)

There is also a calculator that computes BMI with height and weight.

Plugging in my stats, it returned the date of November 16, 2018. I will only be 57 years old. I calculated my BMI on the 25. It doesn’t allow for the .5 of the 25.5.

However, that is if all other variables remain the same. I’m not sure if I could maintain an optimistic outlook on life if I did what I needed to do to reach and maintain that ‘desirable’ weight. A thin, pessimistic me would only live until 2016 (57 years old). Outlook on life seems to have a greater impact on longevity than weight.

Of course, I’m not going to use this as an excuse not to strive towards my goal. However, I will keep in mind that I shouldn’t sacrifice my enjoyment of life in the effort, because that is counter productive. It’s a balance, and I know I can lose a good 20-30 pounds, and remain happy; perhaps even be happier for it.

Of course, there are other variables that aren’t included in the computation. I’ve been a non-smoker most my life. Someone who smoked for 20 years, but quit, is in the non-smoker category as well. Our risks aren’t the same. Genetic predisposition to diseases such as cancer also are ignored.

Avoiding alcohol consumption when driving, staying out of war zones, and taking care of dogs or cats are other things that have been (or could be) statistically proven to have a positive effect on your longevity.

 

Having a sister makes you happier and more optimistic, say psychologists

Having a sister makes you happier and more optimistic, a new study shows, but the same is not true for having a brother.

Growing up with at least one girl in the family also makes people more able to cope with their problems, according to the study.

Daughters tie loved ones closer together and encourage them to communicate their emotions more effectively, the researchers believe.

Prof Tony Cassidy, from the University of Ulster, who carried out the study with researchers from De Montfort University in Leicester, said that having a sister helped to promote good mental health.

He said: “Sisters appear to encourage more open communication and cohesion in families. However, brothers seem to have the alternative effect. Emotional expression is fundamental to good psychological health and having sisters promotes this in families.”

Girls who had sisters also tended to be more independent and keen on achievement, according to the findings.

The effects were stronger among children from broken homes, suggesting that sisters might lean on each other more for support when their parents divorce.

Prof Cassidy added that the lowest scores were among boys who had only brothers.

“It could be that boys have a natural tendency not to talk about things,” he said. “With boys together it is about a conspiracy of silence not to talk. Girls tend to break that down.”

The study questioned 571 young adults, aged between 17 and 25, about the make-up of their families and their emotional well-being.

Only children tended to score in the middle range for happiness and optimism.

Liz Wright, the co-author of the study, said: “With only children we found that they had lots of strong communication outside of the home. It appears that they have as much social support as those with siblings, but it does not come from within the family.”

 

Headlines That Could Stand Some Editorial Oversight…

Headlines That Could Stand Some Editorial Oversight…

 

·          “Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says“      Really?

 

·          “Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers“     I’ll bet even the Chief W. L. Wilcox would think this a bit excessive.

 

·          “If Strike Isn’t Settled Soon, It May Last Awhile“     I suspect that is the case.

 

·          “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks“     I’m sure I’d prefer peanuts or chips or something.

 

·          “Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant“     Seems like a fair and impartial trial might be better.