Intense moments. With all the memories…

The Urban Dictionary defines eHate as the opposite of being admired or loved on the internet. Also unofficially defined as “one to be hated by an online community or subsidiary.”  I’m guessing that Webster didn’t think it relevant to add(yet).

Now, for me, simply being too old to care anymore and being on both ends of that definition from time to time. Facing a never-ending battle with a few relatives, attacking myself in the past and other cousins on a daily basis, I felt the need to address the eHate. Mean spirited emails and social media attacks, for no other reason than to be mean. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a solid debate, and have myself, on occasion, have been guilty of a snippy remark or two. We all have. But for some people, they want to take it to the Nth power.

When someone apologizes and you except that apology, let it go. You can’t except it, then in bring it back up in the next sentence.  Marlene Dietrich was quoted as saying, “Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” I think she meant that for everyone.

I wouldn’t even approach this subject today if it were about me. A cousin has undergone, numerous attacks from her biological sister, via the net aka online. One she can’t avoid. The eHate doesn’t stop there. This person goes out of the way to attack any post by anybody that the post-person dare be happy or cheerful in the subject matter or Lord forbid, have a differing opinion. Shock waves. [Block you – Block me!] This takes “Blocking” to a whole new level; not just for sweaters anymore.

Social media was not intended to be used as a weapon of mass destruction. It is however, sadly upgrading itself to that level. I want to challenge each person to think before they make what they conceive to be a joke or a jeer/slam remark or comment. Think: What if this we directed at me? How would I feel? Maybe it would hurt, maybe not, just think first. What is the purpose? Who would benefit?

Social Media like Facebook and Twitter should be like our dining room table. Enjoyable for the entire family. Yes, we can make jokes, reflect on turning points and voice our opinions as a right of passage and as American Citizens, but not to act “Superior” as to make others feel less relevant.

What should we never discuss over polite dinner conversion(Social Media)?

  1. Politics
  2. Religion
  3. Finances
  4. Sex
  5. Medical Issues

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty. We’ve all done it. Maybe not all five, but some I’m sure. These subjects are best left for a heart to heart with only the people that are directly affected or effected(taking the problem to the source). That’s why we have best-friends. Siblings. Parents. Neighbors(close neighbors). We’ll cover that some other time.

I know you’re thinking that this post isn’t what this blog is all about, its not, it’s about FAMILY. Mine in particular. When one member is hurting, its our job to join ranks. Help where we can. Know when to climb onto our soapboxes and know when we’re only throwing gasoline on the flames. I love the term, “stirring the pot.” I wish I had coined it. I think it sums it up nicely.

We’ve all experienced hardships, health issues and dealt with losses.

Social Media is to help us feel connected with the outside world. Not isolated. Do you worry about what’s going on – disasters, wars, politics, and so on? Connect with the Pages that are geared to those issues. You’ll find no loss on the net for that kind of debate. Leave the inbox’s, Family Walls & IM chat rooms free of eHate and debate.

As a genealogist, I’m always curious as to what has brought you to this place. Let me ask us…

What preoccupies you? What do you mostly think about? If you let your mind wander, where does it go? Do you tend to worry about things, or is your mind fairly calm and placid? What upsets you?

Do you often think of the past? If so, what do you think about? Do you tend to remember a wide range of people and events in your life? Or do a few keep coming back? Do you recall good times, or bad times? Mistakes or successes? What do you regret?

Do you think about friends, relatives, and others you’ve forgiven? Did you reach a point where you no longer wanted to carry ill feelings, and the best way to move beyond them was simply to forgive someone? Did anyone forgive you?

How do you spend your time? What do you do on a typical day? How do you fill your time? What do you like to do? What’s a typical morning like? A typical afternoon or evening?

Recall your most intense moments and events.

When did you feel forgiven? Remember, you don’t forgive someone for his or her sake – you forgive them for your sake.

Life is an adventure in forgiveness. – Norman Cousins

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