True communication, effective communication requires that the listener understands the sender’s message in the spirit it was intended or the message is skewed, misunderstood and the relationship between the sender and receiver has changed or is damaged in some way.

Everyone talks… ie: “What do you do?” This was the questions that I was asked by a complete stranger while getting my nails done at a salon, where I had never gone before. It seems like a fairly basic question that most people would ask, but how much information are we obligated to share with strangers?

When I expressed that I didn’t want to tell her what I did, she immediately made a joke about me being in the CIA and couldn’t talk about it. It’s hard to explain what I do to others.  I used to tell people that I was a domestic engineer. Then they immediate assumed, a housewife. I hold so many titles that “Donna-Do All” seems more appreciate of my skills. My aunt used to call me the Jack of All Trades – Master of None. Yet, I don’t feel that’s a fair assessment of my skills either. I have mastered a great number of skills. The ones I enjoy the most, are what people consider to be mundane or trivial.

In today’s society we tend to talk to almost everyone, about almost everything. Countless TV shows in the afternoon, with fairly similar names, all meaning the same thing, View, Talk, and Chew. Same premise – different faces. I CHOOSE not to watch any of them, because it all seems a little redundant after an episode or two. But one was inflicted on me while I sat in my chair. Not by choice, but by proximity. Not to mention that the one redhead makes me crazy. You’ll have to decide for yourself which one that is. Life’s to short to be stressed out by total strangers, brought into my life via the television.

I will admit that I seem to talk too just about everyone that passes by me, for one reason or another, most of the time, standing in line. But this woman, talked to everyone the entire time I was in the salon, she even knew them all by name and what shows they shared. Who knows every person that works in a salon? She talked about, current trips she was taking, her grandsons, about TV shows and celebrities & their relationships, for which I really have no interest. But for the most part I tried to keep up with her. Not having a clue about most of the stuff she referenced. I got tired of trying to smile politely, as not to offend her. She even asked me how I signed my name. [I didn’t have it in me to “SIGN” it to her. My sign language skills are a little rusty. Okay now, I’m just being a brat.] Honestly, I just wanted to say, “These people will never be in my life or yours for that matter.” So, I asked my self, “Why does she care?” Was it merely to have something to talk about?

Sure, I talk to strangers in the supermarket, or if I need someone to give me an honest opinion on which jacket to buy, as I did at Penney’s, when it was a toss up between the old familiar beige trench coat & the new trendy one that won’t last more than one, maybe two seasons. Two women both agreed that I should get the trendy beige trench with the ruffle on the bottom, so I went with it. Still thinking it a bad decision, when only last year, I donated about 6 or 8 trench coats, thinking I’d never wear one again, I bought it. Pretty naive thinking on my part since this is Ohio and it’s always going to rain and rain and rain. I thought of returning it, but who knows how I’ll feel about it in two seasons? After all, it’s just a jacket.

I said all of that… just to say that in communication you have to have some thing to talk about, for which both parties are truly interested or familiar with the others ideas, or you’re just talking at someone.

Recently, I’ve had several people on the blog post comments that I didn’t understand not completely anyway; some not at all. I spent far too much time in the spam query, trying to decide if the comments were sincere or legitimate or if they were just talking to hear themselves think? Or maybe they were in fact spam? I don’t want to pretend that I know everything about our heritage or how I make peanut butter cake. Nor do I want to tell someone that their comment are too far behind the times to catch up, so what do I say?

In a prefect world, we’ll all know everything about which we speak or have clear on concise comments in our questions & answer queries. But that’s not very likely to happen, not in our lifetimes anyway. So here goes…

I’d like to ask those that choose to comment, which I encourage completely, to please be clear on the subject and the date, in which a post was posted, I may have made 10 more recent with new findings and no time to go back and fix it in the previous posts. Also, to give dates and times for your reference or people noted. Please don’t make blanketed statements that you’re right, and everyone else is seemly wrong. No one at this point was alive before the 1900’s, nor is all family records considered accurate. My own mom’s death certificate is wrong. Nothing here is absolute.

Everything is open for discussion and all views are taken seriously, even if they are way outside the box. I don’t make any demands – but my time is as valuable as the next persons, I’d like to get from point A to point B with a few steps as possible. I’ll try to get to your comments as quickly as I can. If I have not commented back, it because I still have more to look up, or people to contact on the subject, but rest assured, as soon as I know something, I will share it.

Everyone learns to talk. Very few learn to communicate effectively.
I hope my being direct hasn’t offended anyone; that was not my intention here. I’d also like to add that for the most part I did enjoy chewing the fat as my dad would have said, with just about anyone, there may be a few exceptions, but for the most part, even the total strangers that I meet in strange places. If you pass by me, unless it’s in a restaurant, please feel free to talk to me about whatever is on what’s on your mind. Really, I don’t mind. I could talk a dog’s leg off, if I have a clue what we’re talking about.

Etiquette, social graces, presentation and/or manners will only get you so far in a relationship. A speech will not endear you to your neighbor.

The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly — because if they don’t speak fast nobody will listen to them. ~ MichaelCaine


“♫Ring out the old – Ring in the new. Ring out the false – Ring in the true. Ring out the old – Ring in the new♫” ~ George Harrison