Have you discovered a surprising fact about one of your female ancestors? What was it and how did you learn it? How did you feel when you found out?

The most startling revelation for me was when I discovered how my Great Grandma Teareasy Montgomery Adkins died; being kicked in the stomach by a cow during her pregnancy.

I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her children to have to ride in a covered wagon with their deceased mother all the way back home to Kentucky from Ardmore, Oklahoma, their youngest child, under 3 years old. The pain had to be more than any child could bare and yet they did it for her. All of this, to bring her body home for burial.

I too, lost my mother at a very young age and the pain was immeasurable. But this would have been a pain like no other. When you really stop to think about it; 3 to 4 hours after her death, rigor would have set in and in less than 3 days the smell would have been immense. This was a horror, I would not wish on any child. Yet, they pressed on.  You know they came home to a grieving family and neighbors with lots of questions and then the burial.

As a husband and father, the pain must have been more than he too could bare, at times. What to do and how? They had been together since she was 12 years old.  Now he had to make major sacrifices for his children, for her sake. And he made them. The biggest one was to give their smallest child to her best friend for adoption. I can’t even imagine it.

I’m sure this wasn’t something they thought they would ever have to bare. Together, they had made major plans; selling everything they had to go with their family to Oklahoma, all gone. She would not have wanted that for her family, nor her family for her. Each decision we make effect the whole. But love filters through it all. A family can overcome get tragedy and hopelessness through faith.

We have to allow ourselves, all the time we need as individuals to grieve.  The way we grieve is as individual as we are. But take someone’s hand and let them grieve any way they want to; cry, scream, mope, groan, lay there or whatever they decide to do. Just be there for them and love them through it.

They… threw themselves into the interests of the rest, but each plowed his or her own furrow. Their thoughts, their little passions and hopes and desires, all ran along separate lines. Family life is like this – animated, but collateral. ~ Rose Macaulay

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