Son going to stay: in Dorm at College vs. Room at Home??? That age old debate.

Even though his college is only an hour away, he could still drive it everyday. I tried to get him to enroll in every –other- day classes, less travel. Too easy! He took Japanese everyday… seriously? Had he gone to MUM as I suggest he do, yes it was higher quarterly tuition, but we’d have saved a fortune in gas, food and housing… Less debt!

Now, he is hounding us, and when I say “us,” I mean me, to live on campus as if that’s free or college loans don’t need repaid anytime soon. Just to enjoy the independence of his youth. Why can’t kids every see the future, the long term of any decision? His argument is that the average college student now, graduates with about $150K in student loans. In which, I’m seriously hoping is just an extreme exaggeration on his part, but is probably accurate.

As a parent, I have paid for many stupid or harebrained schemes and things in the past, but when he is going in-state and his father drives it almost daily to work, then why should I pay for dorm-life if it isn’t necessary? Out-of-State no question… but in-state just seems silly to me.

Isn’t part of growing up, seeing how the long-term difficulties of excessive college loan debt will harm his future? My neighbors are in a serious situation financially over their kid’s student loans – for which in their retirement years, has limited their ability to recover. Their kids feel no responsibility in the repayment of these loans. As if, it was somehow their parent’s idea or responsibility to pay,  so it doesn’t fall on them. Isn’t college an ADULT decision? One they’re responsible for? If so, then why did I have to co-sign and/or pay for most of it? I think after the first year he should be on his own, paying for all of it.

If I can feed and house him here, then why should I have to pay twice, or at all? He has saved no monies toward college, even though we told he daily the costs and of his responsibility.

When is a Child an Adult? The law says, 24 if in college. WHY? Every family is different and has very different ideas as to how much their responsibility for their individual student is. But for me and my house… yes, he is the baby and acts like it most of the time… I still think he needs to step up here and do his part.

Any ideas on how to give him a reality check?

An idea is a kind of wonderful seed. It can be planted again and again, and is always ready for further use. ~ Dr. Myron Allen

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